Course manual: “Aim: Make a drawing which forces the viewer to use time differently. This may mean a drawing which takes time to make sense of, or a drawing that creates a feeling of a certain pace. The drawing may need an investment of time by the viewer in some way. A drawing is a record of the time you spent making it, but the viewer also spends time looking at it, perhaps seeking meaning, enjoying its beauty or marvelling at the artist’s skill.

Reflection: Reflect on the time spent by the viewer and how it relates to what you do as an artist.”

Inspired by Giacometti or Frank Auerbach’s portraits, where a multitude of repeated lines and erased parts corrected over and over, show a long process of searching for the right line, I have the idea to use one canvas or one piece of paper to draw a a timeline of self-portraits. Looking at photographs of myself from different ages, I will start with a baby portrait and then erase or change the lines til I arrive at a portrait of my current age- 50 years old.

I have never before felt drawn to draw self-portraits, but firstly I am the person to whom I will have the most easy access to photos of all ages, and I am as well drawn to the self- inquiry of a timeline.

I am very much hoping that the last portrait of the 50 year old, will still show traces of the first baby one, but am not yet sure how this will work out technically.

Having attended Keith Ashcroft’s workshop “from dark to light”, I am very much tempted to try this in oilpaints, starting from a dark ground. I choose two small canvases 30x40cm, and coat one in Payne’s Grey and the other in Raw Umber oil paint, as I want to experiment with a warmer and colder background.

I intend to choose one, and then sketch all of the photos one after the other on the same canvas, hoping that it will show remnants of the laborious process as well as a record of many years of transformation.

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On my palette, I only have raw umber, Payne’s grey, Titanium White and Zink White. I am aiming for a monochrome effect playing with warm/cold tones.

After way too many hours of trials, I end up with this series of photographs from my two canvases:

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I am getting a little desperate here for two reasons- in order to see anything, I wipe off too much of the previous image and you can not tell if it was painted on top of another portrait, as was the whole point. Secondly, I will be 70 years old before finishing this series at this pace.

I decide to start over again with charcoal instead, spending less time on each of the drawings and trying to wipe off less in between.

I choose a sturdy 300gr Canson watercolor paper to be able to erase and correct a lot without too much damage to the paper.

I end up with this series of drawings, all in charcoal:

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This is how the drawings look strung together in a time-lapse video:

If I only look at the last drawing- I do see traces of the many previous layers:

Like an erased De Kooning by Rauschenberg, this drawing requires some context to be understood, as it is the process that is the response to the project here.

This drawing requires more time than a casual glimpse and more engagement from the viewer to understand. It was very time-consuming to produce and when knowing the subject and the process, this will be felt by the viewer.